The Dirty Little “S” Word

So it’s week 4 of my 12 Dates in 12 Months journey.  My apologies for not posting last week.  This blog is definitely challenging me to meet self-imposed deadlines.  Alright, so there’s lots that has happened since the last time I posted, namely my FIRST DATE!  But to be honest I’m not quite ready to write about it yet.  I’m still framing how I’m going to write about it in my little mind…above all things I must ensure that I am tactful and respectful because people matter more than sensational blog posts, so  I will post about the FIRST DATE this Sunday, Feb. 22nd.  I promise!  What I will say about the FIRST DATE though is that it was tres interesting and I learnt a whole lot about myself and the “dating world” because of it.  So you’re not going to want to miss reading about my FIRST DATE!

 So back to the topic at hand…the dirty little “S” word.  I’m sure lots of my Christian readers are wondering what this title is all about…lol!  The dirty little “S” word refers to SUBMISSION.  Last blog I spoke about a man’s ability and responsibility to lead…this blog it’s going to be all about the ladies responsibility to submit within a marital relationship so that a man can lead. 

As I have alluded before the dating relationship can be a training ground for marriage and to take it one step further our daily relationships can provide us with lots of opportunities to learn, develop and practice character traits that will help us in our marital relationships.  Perhaps the first person(s) that a girl will learn to submit to are her parent(s).  I know that not everyone grew up with the Cleavers or Huxtables, but nonetheless the Bible commands not suggests that an individual yields/obeys/submits to those who are in authority over them, this includes parents, employers, husbands and God (Rom. 13:1; Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18; Jas. 4:7; I Pet. 2:13,18).  The issue is that our society equates submission with weakness (which is why I entitled the blog as I did), whereas submission in the Bible is very much accquainted with an acquisition of power.  There is a need for a paradigm shift concerning the role of submission in relationships in general in order for there to be real restoration and functionality in today’s relationships.  Listen, there’s so much that can be said about this topic as submission is not just for women, but it also applies to men…and this is the clincher when it comes to submission in a marital relationship…a woman is called to submit to her husband, but that husband is called to submit to God (Heb. 12:9; Jas. 4:7)!  Furthermore, husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loves the Church (remember Christ died to ransom the Church…so we are talking about some real serious love!) and husbands are called to love their wives as their own bodies, “He who loves his wife loves himself” (Eph. 5:28).   

Single ladies, listen up!  This is HUGE!  You need not fear being submissive to a man if he is submitting to God and if he loves you like he loves his own self.  If those two requirements are fulfilled then you can trust that everything is going to be IRIE!  The reason why many of us catch ourselves into relationship problems and DRAMAS is because there is some serious power struggling going on.  There is a lack of good, proper and God-ordained submission happening in the relationship–the woman to the man and the man to God–which can and may undoubtedly lead to a lack of respect, mistrust, abuses, etc;  Few ladies understand the power of choice that they possess…the power to choose who you submit to! 

Alright, so I’ve written as much as I think is necessary about this topic…I think you get the picture of why I am trying to practice how to submit in my various relationships so that I’m ready for a fulfilling marital relationship.  Because God knows that as an independent-I-can-do-it-on-my-own-millenium-woman I struggle with total submission and obedience.  I am the kind of girl that likes to have things organized (yes, my closet is organized according to color and clothing type).  I like to be in control and it is only through much growth that I’ve been able to chillax when everything is not going according to plan.  As Steve Harvey says, “He ain’t through with me yet!”  LOL!  So what’s important in my mate-preparation process is to be able to learn how to let go of the reins and trust another to do just as good or a better job than myself.  This may not be your issue…you may need to be careful of being a doormat or people-pleaser to a man who does not understand, appreciate, respect or value your worth, which means he’ll take advantage of your act of submission.  We all have our issues we need to work on before we get into that marriage relationship.  What’s important is recognition of the issue and then the prayerful and practical plans of attack to change the issue so it becomes a non-issue. 

THREE PRACTICAL WAYS A WOMAN CAN SUBMIT IN A NON-MARITAL RELATIONSHIP

1. Get into the practice of allowing your date to make decisions about your outings and choice of activities.  Let him lead!  And ladies please don’t spend the night looking sour because the activity isn’t exactly what you would have chosen.  Encourage and respect his attempts to lead.  If he has to be in control of everything then that’s a whole other issue and you should consider whether he’ll be able to respect your individuality and need for autonomy.
2. Practice following your boss/empoloyer’s instructions without lip service and with a pleasant attitude.  Not everything requires a comment or a challenge.  Essentially choose your battles and learn to respect your boss/employer’s authority.
3. Practice obedience to God.  If you know that there are areas in your life that are out of whack and where you can act in accordance with his commandments, teachings, laws, etc then with His grace begin…there’s no better time than the present after all!

So what are your thoughts?  Do you think it’s archaic for a woman living in 2009 to submit to her husband?  Drop me a comment and let me know!

Blessings Mes Amies!

Bernadette A.

a.k.a.  The Pink Blogger

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